Sufficient Grace

The following post was typed in January of this year.  Do you ever experience something that impacts your heart to such a depth that you are unsure of whether to share it?  My Father speaks to me.  I'm unworthy.  Yes.  But I am His.  So I will treasure every single word.



January 7th, 2011

"My grace is sufficient."  The Lord kept whispering this to me.  I really think that this is where I am right now.

I am so tired of waking up everyday and running a hampster wheel.  Of trying to look and act like I have it all together, when I don't have anything "all together".  It is absolutely overwhelming. 

I was sitting in church yesterday, close to the end of the service, when the sermon prompted this thought:  Has God called me to something great?

This began a conversation with the Lord that went a little like this.

"Something great? Lord, I am unworthy to even be in the same room as you."
"My grace is sufficient."
"But I KEEP messing up"
"My grace is sufficient."
"But I don't deserve it."
"Daughter, it's grace.  It's not deserved.  MY grace is sufficient."

I journaled this conversation with the Lord as it happened, because I feel like I was finally getting to the core of my heart that has been heavy, sick, plagued for a couple of years now.  My words are what I utter to myself daily...without listening for the Lord's truth to penetrate it.  I feel stuck here. 
Now, when I look at the conversation typed out neatly, I know the truths here.  They aren't a revelation to my knowledge of God.  But it is definitely a revelation and revival of my heart. 

I woke up late this morning, messing up my brand new revised homeschool schedule for the semester.  I almost ran into the planned schedule with out pausing with the Lord.  I am so glad that this morning, as I sit and meditate on Him, that I can hear Him whispering to me these words again.  "My grace is sufficient."  And instead of yelling in my heart "BUT I KEEP MESSING UP," I simply whisper it.  Only His Word can rock the thoughts that plague me.  Thank you Lord that you desire to rock my world so that I see you and that you are sufficient. You are all I need.  Your grace is sufficient.