Sufficient Grace

The following post was typed in January of this year.  Do you ever experience something that impacts your heart to such a depth that you are unsure of whether to share it?  My Father speaks to me.  I'm unworthy.  Yes.  But I am His.  So I will treasure every single word.



January 7th, 2011

"My grace is sufficient."  The Lord kept whispering this to me.  I really think that this is where I am right now.

I am so tired of waking up everyday and running a hampster wheel.  Of trying to look and act like I have it all together, when I don't have anything "all together".  It is absolutely overwhelming. 

I was sitting in church yesterday, close to the end of the service, when the sermon prompted this thought:  Has God called me to something great?

This began a conversation with the Lord that went a little like this.

"Something great? Lord, I am unworthy to even be in the same room as you."
"My grace is sufficient."
"But I KEEP messing up"
"My grace is sufficient."
"But I don't deserve it."
"Daughter, it's grace.  It's not deserved.  MY grace is sufficient."

I journaled this conversation with the Lord as it happened, because I feel like I was finally getting to the core of my heart that has been heavy, sick, plagued for a couple of years now.  My words are what I utter to myself daily...without listening for the Lord's truth to penetrate it.  I feel stuck here. 
Now, when I look at the conversation typed out neatly, I know the truths here.  They aren't a revelation to my knowledge of God.  But it is definitely a revelation and revival of my heart. 

I woke up late this morning, messing up my brand new revised homeschool schedule for the semester.  I almost ran into the planned schedule with out pausing with the Lord.  I am so glad that this morning, as I sit and meditate on Him, that I can hear Him whispering to me these words again.  "My grace is sufficient."  And instead of yelling in my heart "BUT I KEEP MESSING UP," I simply whisper it.  Only His Word can rock the thoughts that plague me.  Thank you Lord that you desire to rock my world so that I see you and that you are sufficient. You are all I need.  Your grace is sufficient.

I am His

I am simply His daughter.  There is absolutely nothing special in me except what He has given me.  I am His child, not by my works, but by His grace alone.  The One who created me sent His only Son to this earth, to live, to serve, to die, and defeat the grave.  The Father desires me.  I cannot wrap my mind around this, but my soul knows it's truth.  He desires me so much that He sent His Son so that by faith in the life and ressurection of Christ, my sinfulness has been exchanged for His Son's righteousness.  I am a sinner.  And an imperfect, holy God cannot have communication or fellowship with sin, for that negates His holiness.  But back to the part that He desires me.  And the depth of my soul knows this for His Son paid my price.

When I began thinking of "blogging", I was thinking of what about me would the world want to know.  Who am I?  Well, I am a wife.  I am a mom.  I am a daughter.  A sister.  A friend.  But as much time as some of these roles require, they don't explain the deepest part of my heart, where my true identity lies.  Who I am lies in the great I AM.  And in Him, I am just simply His daughter.  I pray that when the world sees me, they see Him.  For there is nothing flashy about me that would be worth sharing on a "blog".  So, hopefully, you see Him.